One day you are sharing outfits, the next, you’re not on speaking terms.
Exes leave unique marks in our hearts full of emotions, experiences, and lessons. But if there’s one positive thing about former flames, it’s that they remind us why we deserve better.
Here are 10 types of exes, from the amicable one who remains a cherished friend to the toxic ex you’re grateful to have left behind.
Take a moment to breathe before scrolling to the bottom. You need it– seriously.
1. The First Love
You never forget your first love. Mine was beautiful.
She had a shy smile with hazel eyes. Decades later, I can still remember verbatim conversations we had. And while it was more of a fling than true romance, it was also the best one that didn’t last.
Whether you met during fifth grade or sophomore year in college, your first love was a result of immaturity and dysfunction.
It was exciting back then, but now I look back and think, ‘WTF was that!’
In her book Seven Exes, Lucy Vine describes first love as…they were your first snog, your first wank, your first real flood of hormones…
Maybe this is why it burns horribly just thinking about her.
2. The Toxic Ex
This ex makes you fear for your life, and rightfully so. They are nuts, and drama is always involved whenever you meet.
Your breakup was so ugly none of your friends dare ask what happened. Either or both of you cheated, they broke your TV, and you hate their friends.
They plaster pictures with their new partners on social media to make you go berserk. What’s painful is that it works.
You got clarity from this relationship. May the heavens strike you if you make such a mistake again.
3. The Boomerang
You break up with them, then make up, then break up again. It’s literally the same sh!t over and over.
As elusive obvious would have it, everyone – apart from you two– knows you’ll never work out. Maybe you know it too. You are just hopeful things will be different this time around.
No, they won’t.
There’s rarely ever a good ending to boomerang relationships. You live in limbo, never really moving on. At some point, whether you like it or not, you’ll have to confront why you can’t let go.
It’s either you break your boomerang, or they break you.
4. The Rebound (Friend With Benefit)
You hooked up with them right after a breakup to escape or suppress the pain and feel less lonely. Or even to get revenge on your ex.
You caught feelings, the spark ended after six months, and you ruined both the friendship and the benefits. You thought they’d fill your ex’s metaphorical shoes. They didn’t.
5. The Good Friend Ex
This is the ideal ex everyone wishes for. But they are rare.
Chances are, they were your friend even before you dated. You broke up amicably, and you were both mature enough to put everything behind and keep the friendship going.
You lose a lover but gain back a friend.
You hang out periodically and still have lots of fun together. You are so good together people doubt whether you split up.
But that’s just that, good friends. Nothing more, nothing less.
6. The Clean Break Ex
You are not friends, but you’re not enemies either.
The split up was simple and clean, hence their name. You rarely talk, and if you do, there’s mutual respect. The spark is gone, and you rarely obsess over them. You don’t hate them and they don’t harbor resentment towards you either.
They moved on, and don’t try to make a hell out of your life. In all honesty, they make the world a little easier.
7. The Booty Call
When you are obliterated and need a ‘good night’s sleep,’ this is the ex you call. You have crazy Banshee sex together. But that’s just it; it never goes beyond that.
They were, still are, deadbeat. But boy is the sex great. The chemistry in the bedroom is unmatched, and you are always experimenting new things.
You plan on keeping them around, at least until you find someone new.
8. The One You’re Embarrassed About
What the heck were you thinking? Well, you weren’t really thinking.
They are not in your league. They never were. But they came in at the lowest point in your life, and you thought, ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ Blinded by the moment, you had pity hookups.
Now, they are stuck in your inbox and won’t stop blowing up your phone.
A part of you dies every time you remember your organs touched.
9. The One You Show Off
They are stupidly hot.
So hot, you were out of their league. This time, you are the one embarrassing them. You were with them only for the Instagram likes, where everything looked flawless. The #RelationshipGoals made everyone doubt their life decisions.
But behind the scenes, it wasn’t as glamorous as it seemed. Who knew looking effortlessly in love could be such a workout. It was good while it lasted, though.
10. The One That Got Away
This is the ex Katy Perry sang about. They are the ones your partner doesn’t know about, at least not the whole story.
You got matching tattoos, climbed to the roof, and talked about the future like you had a clue.
They had all the qualities you’ve always wanted and genuinely made you happy. They were meant to be your soulmate, but the timing was wrong.
If there’s one thing this ex taught you it’s that love is not always enough to keep a relationship.
Your heart aches every time you think of them. In another life, you would make them stay.
It’s a Learning Curve
The world of relationships is a complex one filled with ups, downs, and everything in between.
While we often celebrate the joy and excitement of finding love, we can’t ignore the fact that not all relationships stand the test of time.
They may not have been the one, but exes leave us with relatable, enlightening, and above all, human experiences. Take the L, learn the lesson, and move on.
